A World of Hurt | Decidere

The past two weeks have been painful. I’m not speaking of physical pain but rather emotional pain. The kind of pain that takes time – lots of time for healing to take over. The grief some people are experiencing is far more than I have ever experienced or known about. I am not sure if it’s been there all along and I just have not been paying attention.

Take for example the woman who cried her heart out as she shared with me her husband left unannounced. She doesn’t know if he’ll be coming back. Confusion, guilt, and uncertainty resounds as she speaks. Her stare cries out for answers. I have none. Then there is another young lady who’s grandmother just died. The weight of the world, she feels, is on her back as no other relative is helping with funeral arrangements. Her grandma’s death is the latest in a series of personal disasters. She speaks of quitting life. A man also loses his beloved grandmother. Another woman continues to grieve the recent death of her father. A young man in his twenties has been consistently in and out of the emergency room because his blood pressure continues to rise unexpectedly and the medicine is just not working. He fears a stroke is inevitable.

Now, the unimaginable. A young man shares with me how he recently lost his two brothers; one to death and the other to prison. It turns out his older brother accidentally killed his younger brother and is now facing life in prison. As he speaks he relives the scene. “I tried” he says. “I tried desperately to stop the bleeding and keep him alive.” And now, he is the key witness in his brothers murder trial.

All of this is happening now. Has it always been there and I just wasn’t paying attention? God forgive me.

Help me pray God’s grace and peace for these that hurt. Help me pray that they may have a personal encounter with Jesus in the stairwell.

“If we were all to cast our problems into a pile, we would immediately take ours back”

Hello Genius

Have you every said things you wish you could take back? You’re not alone.

I was just going through some old reading material I have saved over the years and found this.

Enjoy.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.”

- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. She won.

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.”

- Brooke Shields, actress, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”

- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it.”

- A congressional candidate in Texas

“I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”

- Dan Quayle, former vice president

“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

- Department of Social Services, Greenville, S.C.

“Please provide the date of your death.”

- From an IRS letter

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

- Anonymous

“They’re multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.”

- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of pliers

“Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly.”

- Batman costume warning label

 

 

A faster horse | Decidere

About a month back, my company promoted a video challenge. Everyone was encouraged to pick up a video camera, or cellphone, and shoot a 90 second video about the company’s culture. The prize for the winning video was nothing more than bragging rights; and that was ok.

The first business unit to publish their video drew plenty of attention — and rightfully so. I remember thinking, oh, it’s on. I thought of different ways to approach this. Then, I thought… why not form a committee and ask them for their ideas. So I did.

The committee did great. We met several times and made progress meeting after meeting. As tempted as I was to impose my ideas and reject theirs, I held my peace and simply assisted in organizing their thoughts.

The end result was, well, o.k. The video we produced was an enhanced version of the first video that was published. In a sense, we simply produced a faster horse. Henry Ford once said:

“If I’d asked my customers what they wanted, they’d have said a faster horse.”

Henry Ford was revolutionary. Steve Jobs is revolutionary. These two leaders have demonstrated that the customer is not always right. That often times the customer needs to be given a product they didn’t know they wanted. Effective leaders see first and see far.

Consider this next time you find yourself leading a group into the development of something new. Collaboration is good, but be ware of simply delivering a faster horse.

By the way, the first video published didn’t win. Neither did we. The winning video was completely different. Wow, shocking, right?.

Three questions that will help you grow | Decidere

from: http://bit.ly/bCiXPP

“If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone” ~ John Maxwell

Many people in leadership roles make a huge mistake that cripples them and prevents them from reaching full potential; they stop growing.

There are many ways to continue self growth. One way is to simply ask those you lead three simple questions.

1. What am I not doing that I should start doing?

2. What am I doing that I should stop doing?

3. What am I doing right that I should continue doing?

This is known as a “Start, Stop, Continue” growth exercise. It is simple and it is very effective. Now, remember, that growing means stepping out of your comfort zone. The answers you receive may or may not be pleasant. Keep in mind the purpose of the exercise. Evaluate the feedback given to you and make the necessary changes to strengthen your leadership skills.

There are some websites out there that host free surveys. I use http://wufoo.com/ and http://www.surveymonkey.com/ – these websites are easy to use and provide very nice reports once the surveys are complete.

Good luck.

I won’t do that again

I won’t do that again!

Two weekends ago, celebrating 4th of July, I was at the park with my family. It turned out to be a family reunion from my wife’s side of the family. There must’ve been 50 people, at least. We had a blast! We played soccer, softball, and volleyball. By the end of the night we ended up with a number of injuries. This girl had a close encounter with the soccer ball (o.k, the ball hit her in the face), my wife’s ankle lost against her’s cousin’s foot, and the worse was a broken knee (ouch!).

I went home limping as well. My right foot was sore. I tried remembering what, how, where, and when I injured it… and I could not pin-point it. Then it came to me: 2008 Charlotte North Carolina – Danny!

While on a business trip in South Carolina, I visited my family in Charlotte. We went out to the park to play some soccer. My nephew Danny broke loose and was headed straight for the goal. Close to the goal, he kicked it with all his might and I stretched out my leg to block the ball with my foot. The ball hit my foot and swang it to the side like the police busting a door open.

My ankle was sore for weeks. I learned one valuable lesson that day, never put out a weak foot to block a ball like that again. Notice I didn’t say “never block a shot like that again”. The problem wasn’t that I exteneded my leg out, the problem was my weak foot.

In our personal lives and at work we sometimes do things that don’t produce the desired outcome. When these things happen, we need to evaluate our actions and learn from them. It’s like the cat that sat on a cold pan every day. Then one day the owner cooked on that pan and placed it to the side. The cat came back to sit on it only to burn itself. The cat never sat on it again.

Let’s not be that cat. Let’s reflect and evaluate our actions constantly and learn from our mistakes. By the way, we won that soccer game – even with my busted ankle

A Story to be read, or written?

You find yourself walking down an infinite hallway with doors on both sides. You look to your left and to your right at every door you walk by. There is a sign on each door. It’s the same sign on every door. It reads “Enter at your own will”. You keep walking and for some unknown reason you stop and decide to go through one of the doors. You walk through the door into a room where you find a table that stretches endlessly from one side to the other. You approach the table only to find yet another sign that reads “Reserved for _____ “. (blank line = your name).

I remember hearing this illustration on predestination many years ago. I believe it is attributed to Albert Einstein, however I can’t find the source.

“God does not play dice.” -Albert Einstein

By definition God is perfect and incapable of making mistakes. You and I were intentionally created. We are not here because our parents had to much blood in their alcohol system the night we were conceived.

Our lives are books. Each day a page. Where the author is God.

“If I could flip to the last page of the book, I would. I can’t wait to meet the author” -Bob Goff

This is not a debate on predestination, Calvinism vs Armenianism. These are my thoughts from which I draw strength for living. I anchor my hope in this:

“Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it” -Psalm 139:14 NLT

“For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you future an a hope” -Jeremiah 29:11 NLT

I choose God’s story.

What’s your view? Are you a book to be read or one to be written?

Who has time to read?

Time is priceless and every minute that passes us will never make its way around again – it’s gone.

Earlier this week I asked one of my managers a simple question “do you read?” He is a new member of our team. I was making conversation so that I can get to know him better. His answer was “not really” He then added “there just isn’t enough time in the day, you know? I have a wife and kids and work and all.”

That answer he gave me was the same answer I gave many years ago. It is an answer far too common. We blame time. As if time were picking on us and not others. A day has 24 hours for you, for me, for all. The issue lies in how we utilize time.

Leaders read.

Consider these quotes from a nytimes.com post: “Churchill retreated to his library to heal his wounds after being voted out of power in 1945 — and after reading for six years came back to power.” The writer also states that “Serious leaders who are serious readers build personal libraries dedicated to how to think, not how to compete.”

Make Time. Prepare For Time.

Our conversation continued and he asked how I managed to get some reading into my day. My answer was a simple one. I make time and prepare for time. I too have a wife, kids, a demanding job, and a somewhat of a social life. I make time either at night when my kids hit the bed or early in the morning before they wake up. Once they’re up, my time is up.

Prepare for time. I know my daily schedule. I know most days will be filled with little time to spare. I also know that some days will come with some down time. Now is a perfect example, I’m waiting for a friend at a coffee shop. Last week, I was waiting at Big ‘O Tires as they performed maintenance on my car. These are examples of the occasions I prepare for.

On The Go Tools.

I use my iPhone to collect material to read later. My choice of app is Read It Later which I use in combination with Twitter. I follow a variety of people on Twitter.  Michael Hyatt, CEO, Thomas Nelson Publishers @michaelhyatt, is a dedicated blogger with great insight into leadership. Author Donald Miller @donmilleris provides thought-provoking material with a touch of comedy. They provide the blog links on their tweets and I mark them for “Read Later”. Later, conveniently enough, when the opportunity presents itself, I open up my Read It Later app on my iPhone or navigate to the website on my computer readitlaterlist.com where I’ll find my reading list. I also use Evernote on my iPhone to collect and organize thoughts and ideas. These notes are saved on the cloud and available to me from any web browser and my home computer.

So…pick up a book. Your Bible. Subscribe to blogs. Read. Grow.

What tools do you use?